Has anyone ever said that to you? Have you ever thought it about yourself? That thing you’re doing, the way you’re spending your time, that job you’re working, your hobbies and passion: that’s a waste of time. Well, first of all, fuck those people who might tell you that. Second of all- I’m here to reaffirm to you (and me, honestly):
NO. IT’S. NOT.
Every little morsel of time you are squandering away, it’s not a waste. Every moment of anxiety you are experiencing, every argument, every moment of boredom, every instance you lose your train of thought, every video game you play, every beer you drink – it’s bringing you along. All of these moments are the collective of your existence, the insurmountable instances are all the collective of your journey. And, oh, how it is a journey. Perhaps at moments you feel helpless and flailing, moving through your life like a robot not stopping to consider what it all means, and OH GOD where is it going:
T H I S. This is your journey. These are the moments you are listening for. These are the stops along your path that bring you closer to who you are, and if it involves 4 hours of video games and TV or a stack of romance novels to get you there,
G U R L you are doing it right.
Because, and see- this is the beauty of it all- there is no right and wrong. Your path is your path, and how you choose to pave it is up to you. The glorious pages of books or cartons of Pop Tarts or tubes of lipstick: they are all pavers on your unique road. And -sure- your road may not look like your bff’s road, or your parents road, or that famous girl on instagram’s road and that’s great!
No. It’s more than great, it’s perfect. It’s right. It’s unique. It’s you.
I am on a journey of self discovery, and have been for quite some time. Along my journey, I have learned a lot about what is authentically me, and what isn’t. You’ll find a lot of material and suggestions out there of how you should experience this journey, and what you should do on it and I guess that’s fine. That’s certainly a spring board to help give yourself some direction, but the hard truth is you have to take your gloves off and dig in deep on yourself. You have to want it. You have to feel it. It has to be authentic within you or you’re not going to take the journey. So, needless to say, an annoyance of mine is when others tell you that what you are doing is a waste of time, because –again– it’s not. What is a waste of time is you worrying about others, and what they think of you.
It’s none of your business what they think.
So. Here here are the top 7 ‘rules’ I am trying to follow on my journey. Maybe you need to hear them too:
#7: J u s t b e y o u r s e l f.
This could mean a number of things, but for me it means: don’t try and be someone else, and don’t change who you are to be different. Either way, we are always concerned with the judgement of others and it hinders our ability to be authentically ‘us’. Don’t worry if someone thinks you shouldn’t wear a two piece swimsuit, or if they’re judging you for eating a donut or WHATEVER. Just. Don’t. Repeat: What others think of me is none of my business. Remember to validate yourself, first and foremost. What do you think? And, like, maybe just stop right there.
#6: B e P r e s e n t.
This can be more challenging than you might think. So, I’ll keep the advise simple: just be mindful and show up. You have to ‘show up’ to be present. So. Let that resonate, and see if it helps you.
#5: B e S e l f i s h.
I feel like people find this sentence controversial. But it’s true. Have you ever heard the saying “if you can’t take care of you, how can you take care of someone else?” You have to make sure you are in a good place and that you have filled your cup before you try and fill the cups of others. So be selfish when you need to be: say no, spend time alone, spend money on you, make yourself smile first. And then share your heart with others. Your relationships will thank you in the long run.
#4: D o n ‘t s w e a t t h e s m a l l s t u f f.
For me, the small stuff is often what stupid shit others are doing/saying. I can so quickly get annoyed at little things. Perhaps they are Trump supporters, or they think home births are for idiots, or they think fathers shouldn’t share equal responsibility, or they think you’re stupid for believing in ghosts, or they preach gospel and believe in hell, or they do any number of things I don’t agree with. I can get myself worked up right now just thinking about how many people don’t live their life on my platform. I mean, my GAWD, can you believe that no one else lives their life 100% according to my philosophy? For me, the challenge is to recognize the rise of things that trigger negativity in me and evaluate how I handle that. How do I respond? It’s all up to me. And I think I can do better.
#3: L o v e a u t h e n t i c a l l y.
I feel like this one needs no explanation. What does your heart say? Listen to it blindly and open it up. Make sure every relationship you let into your life is the right one. If something is bad for you or toxic, then you don’t have to participate in it. You have an out. Take it. This goes for familial relationships. I know firsthand how hard it can be to end a relationship with a family member. But if it’s what is right for you, you do it. You don’t owe anyone anything.
#2: D o w h a t f e e l s g o o d f o r y o u.
I mean…this I really do. Does it feel right? Great. Does it feel wrong? Think about that.
#1: T r u s t.
So. This is a big one. You have to trust in yourself, in those you love, and in the universe. This is the one of the biggest struggles for me. You have to let go of your preexisting notions of how it should be or the plan you made: you just have to trust.
Know that you are an extraordinary being, culled from stardust and happenstance. You are part of the earth, and it is part of you, and every breath you take is a miracle. You are touched by the sun and moon and are a child of their rhythms. You have the power to create life, and love infinitely, and your prospects are untold You are made to move and shake and stand on your hands and laugh and cry and ramble on. Your words have power and your heart has sway. Your mind is a sponge, and your eyes and your heart are hungry for new experiences. You are a speck of dust on a small planet in a vast universe. You are intrinsically interwoven with every person you’ve met, every encounter you’ve had, every journey you’ve been on: you are infinite. Remember to love who you are, what you do, and where you are going. Do what feels good and bask in the glory of your odyssey. Let love move you and remember to always step forward. Every morning when the sun kisses your eyes, you are new and your pages are blank. May you fill them to the brim.
With so much love,