amelia bedelia, anne of green gables, cedric diggory, child, dr seuss, Harry Potter, hobbit, horton hears a who, hufflepuff, is everyone hanging out without me?, kaling, mastering the art of french cooking, Montgomery, parish, rowling, T5W, TFW, tolkien, Top 5 Wednesday
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil
Hufflepuffs are, how do you say….the butt of many jokes. We poke fun at those who are easy to harass, and then we slouch back to our corners and dwell on life and what we’re doing with it. Whereas, Hufflepuffs shuffle off and help a person in need and do 100 sit ups and eat a vegan dinner. Yes, in many ways, the Hufflepuffs are the best people among us. As in, they are truly good. Goodness lives within. They real good. Also, surprisingly, I just read that most of the HP fans in Great Britain identify with Hufflepuffs. The Huffington Post reported that 54% of the population there identifies with the Hufflepuff traits of hard work, patience, justice, and loyalty.
Now: Will that stop me from poking fun at them? Will I quit calling them Hufflefucks? Will I ever get over how sexy Cedric Diggory is? We may never know the answers to these questions. Alas, I digress.
We are here to discuss required reading for Hufflepuffs. This was a truly difficult task as a Gryffindor; what should our HP brethern make sure to read? WWJKRD (What Would JK Rowling Do)? Jo herself said that Hufflepuff (in some ways) is her favorite house, so we must take this choice in stride! Without further ado, I present to you my “Top 5 Required Readings for Hufflepuffs.”
5. Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) By Mindy Kaling
Mindy Kaling is a Huffepuff if I ever saw one. And, like, not in a bad way. She is a kind, good-hearted, funny person who undoubtedly has lots of friends (while dealing with insecurities). She’s not always quite sure where she fits in or how she compares, but she always has something funny to say. She is perfectly magnetic in that way that only Hufflepuff’s can be. So check out her memoir to get a glimpse into the inner workings of an angsty extrovert with introverted tendencies.
4. Anne of Green Gables by L.H. Montgomery
Anne of Green Gables is written by a Canadian author. It is such a sweet and fun story of an orphan joining a family and worming her way into their hearts, even if she wasn’t what they wanted. So, it’s about as Canadian and Hufflepuff-y as you can get. In fact, can we just all agree that most Canadians are Hufflepuffs? Their whole stance on conflict is Hufflepuff and their Prime Minister has got that HUFFLEFUCK look dowwwwwwnnnnnn (see him here for reference). Again, I digress. Hufflepuffs everywhere should rejoice in the character of Anne Shirley and read her stories with a smile!
3. Horton Hears a Who by Dr. Seuss
Horton is THE. CUTEST. ELEPHANT. EVER. And that’s quite the accomplishment, as elephants are stinking cute. He is a kind, gentle, loving soul who would go out of his way to help anyone – and everyone, for that matter. In Horton Hears a Who you feel your heart skip a beat and your eyes well up with tears as you take a deep sigh and remember that there is some good in this world worth fighting for. As Horton would say:
“A person’s a person, no matter how small.”
And we could all do with remembering that a bit more. Horton is certainly a Hufflepuff, and one to be celebrated: his kindness and loyalty make him a true hero!
2. Amelia Bedilia by Peggy Parish and Fritz Siebel
So, this was one of my favorite book series when I was in elementary school. Amelia Bedilia is a clumsy, whimsical, good natured, bad-luck maid. She’s like Ron Burgandy from Anchorman: she will read blindly from a teleprompter and carry on with life without seeing the mistake she made. BUT she is also funny, kind, and loyal. She is the kind of gal you wish you had as an aunt or BFF or at least as a neighbor in your apartment complex. When I bring her up in conversation (like ya do), I light up with joy if someone else has read these books too. She’s champ and you can be too! Check her out!
1. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
The Hobbit is, arguably, one of the best fantasy books ever written. It is an epic (but readable) tale that follows Bilbo Baggins and the gang of misfits he joins. Gandalf is always getting them into some kind of trouble, but in the end it’s up to Bilbo to use his wits and courage to save the day. Bilbo is a classic Hufflepuff: happy to be in his element and at peace. He doesn’t want any well wishers and certainly doesn’t need an adventure. Nevertheless, the Hufflepuff in him leads him down a winding path full of danger, mystery, intrigue and adventures abounding. His loyalty is his best quality, and he’s a character all Hufflepuffs can idolize and aspire to be. Read Tolkien’s masterpiece, and carve out a space in your heart for Bilbo the thief.
Join Hufflepuffs around the world in toasting to friendship, loyalty, and kindness (and looking fly as hell, obvi)!
Mic’s Honorable Mention:
Dang. Morgan was so nice. Well I’m a hateful Slytherin and that’s that. Am I faintly shady for recommending a cookbook as my sole addition to the Hufflepuff TBR? Yep, I totally am.
But look, Hufflepuffs live right by the kitchen. They really enjoy a hot cross bun. They enjoy a handful even more. And, above all, Hufflepuffs like a giant chunk of butter, so essentially every recipe Julia Child recommends is appropriate for them.
Hufflepuffs: don’t complain. You know you want to eat that Chocolate Log Cake! You know you’re coveting that perfect genoise! And let’s not even start in on your obsession with cream puffs, okay? Baha.