Podcast Episode 017: Emmy’s Predictions

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MORGAN. You’re so pretty. Morgan. We all love you.
In this episode Mic is nice to Morgan because she deserves it.

But mostly we discuss our predictions for the upcoming Emmy awards (9/17) and take a deep dive into heavy hitters like Westworld, Saturday Night Live, Mr. Robot, Stranger Things, Master of None, and The Handmaid’s Tale. We have opinions…and they might be dumb…but we’re sticking to them!

  • Popular sweeper shows (including Saturday Night Live and Westworld with 22 nominations each)
  • Netflix as a contender (91 nominations this year)
  • Stephen Colbert is this year’s host (which at least is better than Jimmy Kimmel)
  • Awards shows are cultural sports. Plus they feature FASHION
  • The academy snubbed Mr. Robot and Rami Malek’s gorgeous face. How very dare they. LOOK AT HIM

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  • The Hollywood Reporter Drama Actress Roundtable
  • The importance and power of diversity in award-giving
  • Dreaded Emmy snubs (including, unbelievably, Oprah !?!?)
  • The Radiolab episode about Henrietta Lacks and her immortal cells
  • Stranger Things love (especially for Barb, duh)
  • Each Master of None episode is a different length?! Aziz Ansari lives up to the hype
  • The Crown is a lush, dramatic period drama that Morgan adored
  • Netflix’s recommendation system is trash
  • The Handmaid’s Tale is powerful
  • Nicole Kidman was riveting in Big Little Lies
  • Reese Witherspoon owns a thriving production company called Pacific Standard
  • Is this the Golden Age of television? Well, it might be a golden age. The  new one or the third one or something. Whatever. Television is diverse and spectacular right now.
  • DOLLY PARTON’S CHRISTMAS OF MANY COLORS. We. Are. Not. Worthy.

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  • RuPaul’s Drag Race is nominated in two categories and Rupaul is nominated for Best Host (again!)
  • Oscars vs. Tonys vs. Emmys vs. Grammys
    And
  • A star-studded games corner!

PLUGS:

Binge Riverdale on Netflix
And then take a bath and
Binge Terrace House on Netflix!

FOLLOW:

@Morgandalf

@BandBcast

Check out our Facebook page after the Emmys air on September 17 to see how we did!

Listen to the newest episodes from our RSS Feed!

Thanks for listening, BBs!

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4 ATX Events Happening in September

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Last month I attended Armadillo Con (a convention for speculative fiction authors and fans) here in Austin. It was my first local and intimate (read: small) convention experience and it opened my eyes to the whole glittering world of events, conventions and festivals that happen in this city. We’re! Popular!

Scroll on to check out four cool (and mostly free) events happening this month in Austin.
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Podcast Episode 016: Stephen King’s IT

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This week we’re covering 3 of the faces of IT: Stephen King’s novel, 1990’s made-for-TV movie and the 2017 blockbuster remake. Ooooh, it looks scary! Conversation includes:

* Sewer sex !?
* A raving dissection of the new trailer
* King’s epic, explicitly political Twitter feed
* Problems with/merits of a two-part structure
* The sad story of Jonathan Brandis
* Memory, prosperity and lighthouse keepers
* “BITCH IS THERE A CLOWN IN THAT GUTTER? THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”
* 7 Scariest Moments from TV’s IT
IT is a boggart! Or a glamour? A spider? Or a cosmic deity from dark space. Or a manitu/skin-changer/something…?
* Female and queer representation in the story
* King’s softer side: love poetry!

And a terrifying Games Corner: “1,2,3, Not IT,” “Coulrophobia,” and “King, King or King?”

PLUGS:
Listen to the Making Oprah podcast if you’re feeling overwhelmed with horror.
Go to the movies all night long with The Big Sick, Spider-Man: Homecoming and Baby Driver.

FOLLOW:

@Morgandalf

@BandBcast

On Facebook (Beauty and the Bitch)

Listen to the newest episodes from our RSS Feed!

Thanks for listening, BBs!

Podcast Episode 015: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

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We continue our twisting, ranty exploration of J.K. Rowling’s famous series with Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Y’all know we love these books – we’re just so happy! Our conversation includes:

*a disastrous 2 minute recap
*Where is Crookshank’s litter box? Does he have a secret identity?
*the relative hotness levels of Lupin and Sirius
* What’s your animagus animal (and no, you can’t be a unicorn)?
*Why aren’t students allowed to have dogs at Hogwarts?
*toads are definitively the worst magical pet
*forms of divination
*the 7 core subjects at Hogwarts, as well a all possible electives and extracurricular clubs
*How do all of these children instinctively know their greatest fears?
*frightening ramifications and murky mysteries connected to The Mauraders’ Map
*If one of your best friends killed all your other best friends, would you visit him in jail?
*Dementors vs. Ringwraiths from Lord of the Rings vs. Fades from The Wheel of Time
*Games Corner: 2 Truths and a Lie + Marry, Fuck, Kill + Which One? + Very Bad Omens

FOLLOW:

@Morgandalf

@BandBcast

On Facebook (Beauty and the Bitch)

Listen to the newest episodes from our RSS Feed!

Thanks for listening, BBs!

Podcast Episode 014: Spirited Away

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Sometimes you need a movie to just pick you up and carry you away, for a little while, from your reality. It’s a brutal world out there, BBs, and there’s no shame in needing to take a lil break.

Close your eyes and let our dulcet tones lead you deeper into Hayao Miyazaki’s Spirited Away. Our conversation includes:

* Teen Girl Squad (her name is “What’s Her Face”)
 vacation drinks: pina colada vs. long island vs. coconut milk
*How I Met Your Mother
*Full House/Fuller House
*
Top 5 Miyazaki Movies
*the unique deliciousness of anime food
*a Secret History of No-Face
*”I’M NOT DRUNK, I’M JUST GOOD-LOOKING.”
*Do you recognize the name Deveigh Chase? You should.
*Yubaba + Professor Slughorn = ugliest Slytherin babies ever
*the movie as “gateway drug” to anime, as comment on child prostitution, as coming-of-age story, as environmental sermon
*Japanese urban legends
* All Fantasy Everything
*2nd Opinions, games and more (AND MORE)!

Thanks for listening, y’all!

FOLLOW:

@Morgandalf

@BandBcast

On Facebook (Beauty and the Bitch)

spirited away 1

Family Newsletter 

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If this was the 90s, you would be receiving this update via email (with clip art!) or maybe you would find it printed out and stuck in your mailbox. If I was really cutting edge, this update would be a series of pictures and arcane comments on Instagram. But this isn’t the 90s and I’m generally a Luddite, so you’re getting a blog update instead.

There have been lots of changes for me and Morgan in our personal and work lives over the past 2 months. But before I go into all that: have no fear! The podcast is safe and supported and we. Are. Committed. In fact, we’ll be ramping up our efforts in 2018. So gird your loins, BBs! There’s mad bitchiness (and at least moderate beauty) coming your way!

In fact, we thought you might enjoy a sneak peek at our upcoming episodes. Are you a fan of:

  • Stephen King?
  • awards shows?
  • Stranger Things?
  • The Golden Compass?
  • Spirited Away?
  • Star Wars?
  • Jumanji?

If you answered yes to any of the above, we have an episode coming out for you in the next five months! Please check out our RSS Feed or subscribe now on iTunes and Stitcher to ensure you don’t miss out on our…brilliance.

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In personal and career news:

Morgan has just started a YouTube channel that you should all check out! Her day job responsibilities at Go Read include hosting a live show called Cover to Cover every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Some of those episodes are on Morgan’s personal page but who knows what else will eventually appear there? Subscribe to be in the know!

I quit my day job a week ago and am working on polishing up an official author’s blog. I’ll link that once it’s sparkly. Until then, I’ve returned to a prior blog (with almost 700 followers!?) that I created back when I was an actor and drag queen, but now I’m using it as an informal writer’s journal. I’ve committed to 4-5 posts a week! Check it out for ongoing flash fiction series, poetry and more.

Upcoming events:

I will be gleefully present at Austin’s 2017 Armadillo Con, a fantasy and sci-fi conference that brings together tons of local creatives August 4-6! I’ll be taking classes, handing out business cards and (hopefully) making friends. If you’d like to come, tickets are $60 at the door.

Morgan and I will both be attending the Texas Book Festival November 4-5. If you’re in the Austin area and you’ve never attended this free festival, you’re seriously missing out! We’ll be attending all the cool events, geeking out and doing some guerrilla marketing.

Please let us know if you’ll be attending either of these events! We’d love to meet up!

Okie, thanks for reading, BBs! We’ve got some exciting content coming your way – Spirited Away episode will be live in just a few days!

-M

90s-Kids

Top 5 ‘So Bad They’re Good’ Movies

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In between watching serious films like Sophie’s Choice, The English Patient and umm Ken Burns: The Civil War, I consume an outrageous amount of utter trash. Or no, wait: I just watch trash and The English Patient was horrible and boring.

So, whatever: I AM TRASHY and I enjoy trashy cinema. Please enjoy this undeniably watchable Top 5 list.

5. Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2

blair witch 2

“Well then, Peggy, could you tell the bitch at the front register to do her goddamn job?”

This is probably the worst movie on this list. As in: it’s not well-known and it’s not generally considered bad enough to be funny. But the acting is mediocre at best, the cinematography is cheesy and the dialogue is horrible…which leads to some genuinely hilarious and wonderful moments. My personal favorite is when an obviously stuffed owl crashes through a window and falls spread spread-eagled (spread-owled?) on the floor of the insanely beautiful “abandoned” factory that the craziest character in the entire movie “bought for a dollar” from his local government.

Kim, my favorite character, is a goth psychic who “just liked the [original] movie.” Erica is a beautiful, spirited Wiccan with a chip on her shoulder about identity politics. Stephen and Tristen are a loving couple writing a book about the Blair Witch and expecting a baby. And Jeff, crazy-ass Jeff, is the local who runs an online Blair Witch merch shop and leads them all into the woods for a self-styled (and obviously doomed) Blair Witch Hunt. The factory belongs to him. Please. That’s a multi-million dollar residence.

Anyway, while spending the night in the ruins of the house in which the original movie climaxed (remember? The crying in the corner of the basement?), madness sets in and five members of a rival tour group somehow end up dead. But who did it? And why? And what are these weird, witchy marks covering everyone’s bodies?

Y’all, this movie is horrible and ridiculous. But it’s so fun to watch.

Drinking game: take a drink every time someone screams something for no discernible reason. Take a shot every time there’s unnecessary nudity (hint: it’s all unnecessary. You will be drunk).

4. Center Stage

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“Whatever you feel, just dance it.”

There is one reason this movie is so good and so bad: they cast actual ballet dancers in most of the roles. Beautiful athletes who are talented and graceful in motion. Actual dancers who are wretched, atrocious actors.

The only thing more captivating than the smorgasbord of male dancer butt is the wooden, stilted way the actors deliver their lines. My favorite (least favorite) performance, though, belongs to Susan May Pratt (Maureen Cummings, the star dancer of the American Ballet Company). She whisper-screams almost every line and picks at cheese pizza with a delicate, bulimic finger. According to her mother, she “just watches her weight and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Every single story line in this movie falls flat. But still: the whole movie is gold. And the ballet at the end is genuinely fun to watch!

Drinking game: take a drink for every gorgeous butt shot. Take a shot every time Zoe Saldana (!) does something rebellious. Chug your drink while Jody pirouettes forever at the end of the movie.

3. Repo! The Genetic Opera

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“Why oh why are my genetics such a bitch?”

I don’t even know where to start with this one. What’s the most special? Paris Hilton as the drug-addled capitalist princess with an addiction to plastic surgery? Shilo Wallace’s pathetic, wispy solos about her blood disease? Anthony Stewart Head (Giles from Buffy) as the eponymous Repo Man who pulls rented organs from the bodies of still living debtors?

This movie is a beautiful disaster. You’ll find yourself singing about incest and murder for a whole week after.

Drinking Game: take a drink any time someone mentions a hideously disgusting sexual  act. Take a drink anytime someone who can’t sing…sings. Take a shot every time someone dies!

2. Troll 2

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“Oh my gaaaaaaawd!”

There are more things wrong (and therefore right) with this movie to count. Love milk? So does one of the characters in this movie. Love working out with tiny weights in a giant weight lifting belt? Check. See dead grandparents in your mirror? Pee on dinner to save your parents from being turned into vegetables? Have horrible teeth or worse makeup? Draw on your freckles? This movie is. For. You!

By the way, did you know that Nilbog is goblin backwards? Not that this movie is about goblins, of course. Or, well, maybe it is about goblins and it’s just called Troll 2. There’s a documentary about the making of this train wreck called Best Worst Movie that’s both really good and also surprisingly sad. Check them both out!

Drinking game: take a drink every time your favorite of the six or so goblins is on-screen. Take a drink every time you want to strangle the incredibly annoying little boy protagonist. Take a shot anytime a character is turned into a plant or odd green space slime.

1. The Room

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“I got the results of the test back. I definitely have breast cancer.”

It’s probably not a surprise to find this movie in the #1 spot. I mean, what other masterpiece could possibly claim the title? But Morgan stopped by earlier this week and told me something that was an actual surprise: there’s a comedy coming out later this year about the tumultuous and difficult birth of The Room. James Franco will be playing Tommy Wiseau. It’s called The Disaster Artist and it’ll be out this December!

I’m assuming most of you have seen this movie already. If you haven’t, watch it immediately. Immediately! It’ll teaaaar you apaaaart (Lisa)!

There are almost unlimited drinking games associated with this movie. But I do recommend playing with beer or wine. Otherwise, you’ll end up in the hospital. Here are some of my favorites:

  • Take a sip whenever Johnny laughs at nothing.
  • Take another when he says “huh”.
  • When a blatantly unnecessary scene draws to a close, drink.
  • When a sex scene draws to a close, down your drink.
  • Whenever a character says “Oh hi, (character name)”, drink.
  • Take a sip whenever Denny says something slightly creepy (“I just like to watch you guys!”)
  • Take a big gulp on the most famous line in the movie, “You’re tearing me apart, Lisa!”
  • Take a drink whenever stock footage plays.

And do NOT call me from the hospital! I’ll be out in the alleyway, casually playing football with my best friends.

– Mic

Podcast Episode 013: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

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OOOOoooooh! Lucky Episode 13!

Is cursed.

We just KNOW that y’all love our long, long rambling discussions, but this one, due to technical difficulties, has been truncated slightly. Please enjoy this slightly shorter episode that includes DEEP talk about:

  • Morgan’s surprise mustache (again)
  • Mic’s outrageous bush
  • Rowling’s difficulty writing a sequel to Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s/Sorcerer’s Stone
  • comparative word counts of each of the Harry Potter books
  • the difficulties of working child actors
  • outbreaks of LICE on the set of the movie
  • candy smuggling (Tom Felton was the main culprit)
  • the implacable advancement of death in the series
  • racism, possession and murder…in a children’s book?
  • why/how the Weasley family is poor
  • the wizarding world’s economy
  • a definitive rating of the Molly and Arthur’s favorite children
  • the sex lives of House Elves
  • the horrible justifications for House Elf slavery
  • nepotism and avarice in the Malfoy family
  • would you rather fight Aragog or the basilisk?
  • a Secret History of the basilisk

AND THEN APOCALYPSE. 😦

Thanks for listening, BBs! Doncha’ worry – we’ll get our tech sorted (someday).

FOLLOW:

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@BandBcast

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Top 5 Children’s Books

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I have no idea why three of the five books I’ve picked for this list feature rats and/or mice. Maybe I lived for rodents as a child? I don’t remember that…

Some Honorable Mentions that didn’t make the cut: The Berenstain Bears series, The Girl with the Silver Eyes and Swiss Family Robinson.

5. The Boxcar Children

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Henry (14), Jessie (12), Violet (10), and Benny (7) are orphans. Instead of moving in with their grandfather, who is rumored to be frightening and cruel, the four siblings run away to live in and have adventures around the eponymous boxcar.

Y’all, I LOVED this series when I was little, perhaps because I’ve always been independent and a lover of nature. Violet (the sensitive one) was always my favorite, but the youngest, Benny, made me laugh and Henry (the oldest) seemed mad studly when I was a kid. The only character I didn’t much like was Jessie, who draws a pretty close parallel to Susan from The Chronicles of Narnia; she’s mature, motherly and…boring.

There are bits of the first book that are still bright in my memory. The kids going to the dump for household/boxcar necessities is particularly vivid. I’ve been known to dumpster-dive myself, perhaps because Benny found a cracked pink porcelain cup when he went that I have frankly coveted since I was little. 

Throughout the series (or at least throughout the ten or so that I read as a child), the siblings support and protect each other. And when they finally meet their grandfather (Violet gets sick, so they have to go to adults for help), they find that he is not only kind, but also rich. RICH! So he moves their beloved boxcar to the backyard of his mansion and only infrequently pops in after to give the kids presents and gentle, loving advice.

Talk about wish-fulfillment! Ugh! These are the luckiest orphans around!

4. Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH

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I read this book at age 10, by flashlight, in my tent at Boy Scout summer camp. I couldn’t sleep because it was raining and because my tent was leaking. I could have asked for help or migrated to a drier tent, but I’ve always preferred to “deal” with my problems myself. So I huddled in the one dry corner available to me, abandoning my sleeping bag inch by inch to the growing dirty puddle in the center of my waterlogged tent, and read about Mrs. Nimh, a widowed field mouse, and her desperate attempts to save her family from Dragon the farm cat and Mr. Fitzgibbon’s apocalyptic plow.

The plot is really imaginative – it centers on lab rats that, because of experiments at the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), are intelligent enough to have developed a literate and technological society under a rose bush. O’Brien was inspired by experiments that occurred at the real-life Institute between the 1940s and 1960s. 

This is a great book for any child, but I think the precocious ones might especially appreciate the rats’ struggle to thrive in an environment that doesn’t understand them or their genius. Plus, there’s a (nominally) friendly owl – my favorite character!

3. Flowers for Algernon

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 Flowers for Algernon began its literary life as a short story published in the April 1959 issue of The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction. Keyes then expanded it into a novel that was published in 1966. Both iterations won various awards.

The novel chronicles the parallel experiences of Charlie, an adult janitor with an IQ of 68, and Algernon, a lab rat at at Beckmann College Center. Both undergo an experimental new treatment (Charlie is the first human subject) and achieve startling increases in their intelligence. Algernon races through his mazes. Charlie learns to read and write. As they both progress, Charlie begins to realize that the bakery workers who he thought were his friends actually only demean and ridicule him. His intelligence brings a stark loss of innocence, especially when Algernon’s intelligence eventually regresses and the rat abruptly dies.

I won’t ruin the ending, but let me tell you: it’s not a happy one. Though there are some adult themes in this book (Charlie develops a sex drive as his intelligence increases), it is the heartbreaking ending that makes me think this book is more appropriate for teenagers than children. Plus, this is a great tool for helping teens expand their empathy and appreciate their blessings. Themes include society’s treatment of the mentally handicapped and intellect’s impact on happiness. Stark, yes, but also beautiful.

2. Abel’s Island

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William Steig’s middle-grade book, a kind of Robinson Crusoe for children, was published in 1976 and promptly won a Newberry Honor. It’s a rousing thriller about a pampered mouse named Abel who, chasing his wife’s silk scarf during a freak storm, is swept by the rising water to a deserted island. 

Upon crawling from the roaring river, Abel must teach himself how to survive a long, brutal winter without any help and very few resources. In addition to the basics (food, shelter, warmth), Abel must also contend with a massive and genuinely terrifying owl. Through it all, even though his own fine clothes are reduced to rags, Abel takes scrupulous care of his darling wife’s scarf so that he might return it to her once he gets back home.

This book is charming and sweet. Abel is a strong role model for children: relatable, kind and (eventually) hard-working. If you’re looking for an uplifting read with a happy ending, this book is for you!

1. Where the Sidewalk Ends

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I debated all the other entries for this list, but Shel Silverstein was locked in as #1 from the minute I saw the topic. I can’t think of any other books I reread as often or enjoyed as much as Silverstein’s when I was a child.

The illustrations are a big part of the appeal, as is the generally simple vocabulary and fun, driving rhythms. This is a great book to read to children – it’ll make them laugh. But it’s also a good choice for young kids to read by themselves. The rhyme scheme often helps with pronunciation of larger words.

This is my favorite of Silverstein’s books, but any of them would make great gifts to the young or young at heart! Fair warning, though: The Giving Tree will make everyone in the family cry. Hell, it’ll make the whole neighborhood cry! 

-Mic

By the way:
T5W (Top 5 Wednesday) is a weekly book meme created by gingerreadslainey and hosted by Sam @ThoughtsOnTomes. You find out more about T5W and the weekly topics on the Goodreads group here.

Top 5 Books Without a Romantic Subplot

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Someone once told me that I have a cold dead lump where my heart should be. To that person I replied, “MOM GET OUT OF HERE I’M TRYING TO POOP.”

Anyway, the T5W this week is appropriately curmudgeonly and hateful: books without romance. Once I started exploring my library, however, I quickly realized that almost every book I own contains some romance…or sex…or unrequited love…or deeply pathetic fantasizing about love. Oh no, wait. I was looking through my journals. Well, anyway, I’m making the executive decision to expand this topic from “absolutely no mention of romance” to “very little romance.”

What, ya wanna fight me about it? Come at me, brah!

5. The Stranger

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This is not a sexy book. I mean, unless you find deep existential angst sexy (which, actually, I do). Albert Camus’ absurdist 1942 novel is built around the funeral of the protagonist’s mother, a senseless and random murder, and some bleak criminal justice.

OH CRUD AND HEARTACHE – I just remembered that Meursault, the protagonist, does indulge in a random hookup with some lady on the beach (okay, I looked it up: her name is Marie and she’s a former employee of his firm). Well, fine.

I still feel comfortable arguing that this classic, which was named the #1 most important book of the 20th century by Le Monde, is far from romantic. The love and sex that does exist is just as bleak as everything else and Meursault’s affair with Marie is, like everything else in his life, doomed by his refusal (inability?) to partake of and conform within society.

4. Grendel

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Grendel is one of the three monster antagonists from the Old English poem Beowulf:

“Till the monster stirred, that demon, that fiend/Grendel who haunted the moors, the wild/Marshes, and made his home in a hell./Not hell but hell on earth. He was spawned in that slime/Of Cain, murderous creatures banished/ By God, punished forever for the crime/ Of Abel’s death.” 

Grendel the novel was published in 1971 and retells the ancient poem from Grendel’s point of view. It’s a story in the same vein as Wicked by Gregory McGuire – Grendel is an intelligent, frustrated anti-hero misunderstood by the protagonist(s) of the original work. Similar in some ways to The Stranger, the book is a bleak, nihilistic exploration of the meaning of life.

Though Grendel does briefly become enraptured by Wealtheow, the beautiful princess of a neighboring Norse camp, he decides to show this love by murdering her before ultimately deciding that decisions don’t matter and that murder and mercy are both equally meaningless. He lets her go not out of love, but out of apathy.

I guess the only real love in Grendel’s life, beyond his instinctual love for his mute horror of a mother, is his love of myth and storytelling. But even that love, by the time his arm is ripped off by stoic, violent Beowulf, is submerged in a deep pit of despair and disgust. Grendel dies cursing life and love and the illusion (?) of free will. Definitely not a romance.

3. The Catcher in the Rye

catcher in the rye
I should probably stop listing this novel in my Top 5 lists. I know it’s repetitive. But look, that’s what makes this a masterpiece! It encompasses various universal meanings and allows for various diverse interpretations.

Anyway, Catcher in the Rye is especially appropriate for this list because the main thrust of the story (at least in my opinion) is Holden’s fear and distrust of adulthood and all the things that come with being an adult. Including romantic love. That being said, there’s plenty of familial love in this book. Well, of course: that’s one of the kinds of love (along with friendship and general love of humankind) that children know best.

Granted, the plot of the novel incorporates a few crushes. Holden gets in a fight that is at least nominally over his roommate going on a date with his old friend Jane Gallagher. He dances with a woman in New York but finds they can’t maintain a conversation. He hires a prostitute but then just wants to talk. He goes on a date with Sally Hayes, but the highlight of his evening is overhearing a small child singing “if a body catch a boy coming through the rye.”

My point is that there are plenty of aborted romantic encounters in Catcher in the Rye. Plenty of intimations at love, but no actual romance. Each of the encounters that Holden has with women (and, in one case, with a queer English teacher) rot on the vine. None of the failed dates, failed dances or failed telephone conversations mean enough to count as a romantic subplot. In fact, their importance lies in their failure.

2. Waiting for Godot

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I used to think that Waiting for Godot is about a queer relationship. Well, in a way, it is. It’s about two homeless men, Vladimir and Estragon, who own essentially nothing and have essentially no one. Except, of course, each other. Their relationship is rock-solid, true. But it’s not sexual. Something I’ve learned to appreciate as I’ve grown older is the power of friendship. Romance burns white hot, but friendship isn’t a flame. It’s a foundation. You can destroy it, sure, but it’s easier to build up than tear down.

So there’s no romance in this play. There’s hope and madness, turnips and boots, one spindly tree, a master and a slave, hope, despair and plenty of waiting…but no romance. And no Godot.

1. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

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There are weird and unpleasant lovey vibes between Alice and The Mad Hatter in Tim Burton’s 2010 Alice in Wonderland (and even a rumored deleted romantic subplot), but I hope everyone will agree that that’s an abomination. If Alice kisses The Mad Hatter, she’s…essentially a rapist. He’s MAD. That’s the whole point of his character. So he can’t give consent. And further, Alice is seven at the youngest…maybe fifteen in the movie. The Mad Hatter is of indeterminate age, but he’s at least older than eighteen. So that’s statutory rape, right there.

My point: there’s no room for romance in Alice in Wonderland. Alice is too busy navigating between and around the completely insane characters, rules, and topography to bother with the most powerful catalyst for insanity in the entire universe: love.

-Mic

By the way:
T5W (Top 5 Wednesday) is a weekly book meme created by gingerreadslainey and hosted by Sam @ThoughtsOnTomes. You find out more about T5W and the weekly topics on the Goodreads group here.